I came into the family not knowing what I would find.I was nervous and Afraid..He gently eased my mind. he made me feel right at home from the first day we met.he welcomed me with opened arms, and that T wont forget. he always encouraged me and supported me with the kind words. He is a great father-in-law.I thank god for blessing me with you -the very best.

With tearful eyes we watched him suffering and saw him slowly fade away..Although we loved him dearly, we could not make him stay..A golden heart stopped beating, Hard working hands put to rest.We know God saw him getting tired... and cure was not to be..Thats why he put his arms around him and broken our hearts.. and proved that he only takes the best.

Its been almost a month since you passed away...we still miss you as much as the day you died. And you were such a huge part of my life and your soul always in peace.

Pretty & Beautiful

There is a lot of difference between pretty and beautiful...

 When someone is pretty, they have a good appearance...

 When someone is beautiful, they shine inside and out....

Have to be beautiful always and all the times .... :)

The most important thing you can do in a relationship is sit down and talk to each other, not with the TV on, or at the cinema, or over a meal, but just you and the other person where you can truly be heard and truly listen to each other. A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets.... No Lies....

You know what...

Yes.. I m changed..

I m not as nice as I used to be, because I don't want to get used or walked over.
I dont trust everyone and tell them all my secrets, because behind every one there is a fake smile.
I keep distance myself from people because in the end, they're only going to leave.

I have changed..
Because I have realized that I m the only person I can depend on.

Never look for a good face; It will turn old one day.
Never look for a good skin; It will wrinkle one day.
Never look for a hot body; It will change one day.
Never look for nice hair; It will turn white one day.

Instead..look for a loyal heart..that will love every day.

I am feeling happy these days. You know why? Because I am not expecting anything from anyone these days. Expectations always hurts. Life is short, And I always want to live my life happily with my sweet love...

Just live for yourself  and for your beloved ones. And the reason for my happiness is being myself  realized by the words said by Shakespeare.

Before you speak, Listen.
Before you write, Think.
Before you spend, Earn.
Before you pray, Forgive.
Before you hurt, Feel.
Before you hate, Love.
Before you quit, Try.
Before you die, Live.

Now I am simply listening, thinking, Earning, Feeling, Loving, trying and Living my LIFE .. :)

Mom ..you are really Great !!!.

My life has been changing all the times.. as I already said getting attached to the loved ones is very painful.. I do not know what to say now.. Simply looking to get out of my feelings.. 

I thought My son is very stubborn and and he doesn't get attached very quickly.. But today I got to know that I was wrong in estimating him... he is more attached to my mom.. as I do attached to my mom. 

He has the same affection towards me and also towards my mom ... He asked my moms mobile number and wrote it on a piece of paper... and when she left to her native.. he hold that paper in his arms inside the quilt and slept with that.. and after some time he suddenly got up.. and was asking for my mom.. why she left him... Even I have the same question..   I want to be with my mom and dad always.. the same is happening with my son also now. He wants to be with my mom and dad always..apart from us..  

The love she is showing on us is speechless.. and want to change myself to be like my mom.. to pour the love on my son as my mom does.. Mom is always Mom.. and My mom is more that what mom usually is !!

I am Just a Girl..

I love being called pretty. But I will never believe it.

I am not always right. But I hate admitting I am wrong.

I am almost always smiling. But its not always real.

I can be read like an open book. But I do hide so much.

I work hard at things. But I don't always get what I deserve. 

Now I got to know that we should not let the people who do so little for you , control so much of our feelings and emotions.

Though I am just a Girl...its my own life to live and to be loved.

We Just have one Life...

Why to complicate our precious Life?

Missing someone??            -  Call

Wanna meet up?                - Invite

Wanna be Understood?     - Explain

Have Questions?               - Ask

Don't like something?        - Say It

Like something?               - State It

Want something?              - Ask for It

Love Someone?               - Tell It

We just have one life. We have to keep it more simple.

In my life .. 

I have lived, 

I have loved, 

I have lost, 

I have missed, 

I have hurt, 

I have trusted, 

I have made mistakes.

But now I realized that  my attitude should be based on how others treat me. Else we cant survive. 

Its my life. I have to live and enjoy the most of it.

 

I got enemies..Good. This means I stood up for something in Life. I have few people in my life who doesn't like me as I have everything with me. I feel they are jealous on me. I used to cry a  lot when  they scold me for silly reasons. I realized later that they wanted to rule my life. But I stood up and haven't given any chance to them now. 

And Now Its My Life.

I thought I would share something with you..

These days I found some depression symptoms.After my symptoms getting worse and worse and the suicidal thoughts getting stronger and stronger, I decided to hospitalize myself as suggested by my doctor.

I was hospitalized couple of times, but this time when I enter into the department, I felt so embarrassed and weird. Being hospitalized was one of the scariest things I ever did, but looking back on it now, I believe it was really what I needed. I not only needed medication and a safe place, but I needed some intensive therapy, some ideas of ways to release some feelings, and I needed a chance to figure out what my next steps would be when I was released. My love supported me in all the ways he can.

I'm not saying it was easy..and I never want to do it again...but It's not an easy decision to make..

I feel There are two types of pain in this world.

Pain That Hurts You

Pain That Changes You

And Now the second one was applied for me.. Pain that changes me.. in all the ways And I have become little stronger enough to make things happen in a new direction. 

There are no moments in my life that make me and set the course of who I'm going to be.

Sometimes there are little, subtle moments. Sometimes there're big moments I never saw coming.

No one asks for my life to change, but it does. That's what I do afterwards I counts.

That's when I find out who I am.

I have been trying to find what is meant by a secret. I feel they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind. Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides. Its like trying to protect a secret causes anxiety and discomfort. 

I doesn't  want to hear any secrets.. We doesn't even  know until we hear it !! But now I keep me away from social gatherings, family members and sitting lonely.. making myself alone. I am myself alone..always lonely..  I never lie," I said offhand. "At least not to those I don't love". Don't know...

I was thinking about my past.. I got back my memory. Now I have realized and write how it was...

I learned so many lessons from my past. I got to know the impermanent nature of the world and events, and also knows the non-existence of past events right now and accept them. It is all a matter of where you are, of what you are. I never stuck with events in my time and space. My Nature was cool.. don't ask now why i wrote my nature was cool.. Now I have ups and downs in my life. But when I think of my past, It was cool and I was so energetic..so simple.. so lovely.

Memory is a blessing and your best friend when it comes to you. Memory is a hindrance when it does not let you be free of events, pleasant or unpleasant. Memory of past events constricts the vastness of the self.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me and the person whom you gave for me for my life is the best person in the world forever. The love for him is eternal'.

I found some thing Rapid fire questions which I could not stop sharing with you..


- Politics?
Inevitable.

- Religion?
Lifeline or could be death-line.

- Anger?
Avoidable.

- Fear?
Love upside down.

- Joy?
Your nature.

- Knowledge?
That brings happiness.

- Alcohol?
That brings misery.

- Myself?
The lucky one.

- Chaos?
Mother of bliss.

- Your smile?
Unforgettable.

- Prayer?
Works.

- Relationship?
Work's all the time. But some says Doesn't work all the time.

- Youth?
Responsibility. Anyone who takes responsibility is a youth.

- Intelligent?
One who performs the responsibility.

- World?
A gift to humanity.

- Technology?
Meant to bring comfort.

- Future?
That which you can make bright.

- God?
Love.

- Life?
The same. Ditto.. ! :)

Its a boring day today... though I spent my time with my family...I tired alot.. need to have long weekend..there and where I could spend my time with myself..by taking rest and rest and rest.. Need rest very badly.. :)

My Loneliness..

We're all lonely for something... we don't know what we're lonely for.. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing something in life which we've never even knew? I am myself alone. One oneness, a unit in a society, but always afraid, always alone.. the people whom you feel yours wont accept you as what you are and as their own.. the feeling is weird..

If I should scream, if I should call for help, would anyone hear... would it even matter? Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not. Time takes it all, time bears it away, and in the end there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again.

These days I always get negative thoughts.. No matter how much I try to control them, they keep increasing. At least now I have realized that they increase if I try to control them. And now I am not sure whether I am trying to embrace them or exclude them.

I've been sitting here trying to find myself.. I get behind myself.. I need to rewind myself.. I'm digging my way to something better.. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired... I used to go to bed so high and tensed.. I have lost the will to live. Simply nothing more to give.There is nothing more for me. Need the end to set me free. I thought I could leave, but couldn't get out the door

You'll just never know...so many emotions I choose not to show..

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know what I wanna see. My world use to be worth living for, and now it's hard enough just to be me. I'm screwing up every little good thing I ever try to do.

But I know you are always there for me.. standing besides me.. holding my hand in all the aspects.. You are the only hope for me now.. to come out of my loneliness and to find the way to reach my goal. Though god has given me the pain.. he has given you to overcome my loneliness, my pain.. Thanks for being with me in such a bad state of mine.

Purpose of life.. !!

The purpose of life is not to be miserable and make others miserable. Purpose of life is not to show-off to other people. Purpose of life is not to think on small terms for short term joy and little pleasures.

First make a list of what should not be the purpose of life. So you think about it and one day you will discover. When you discover you will say, ‘wow!’

I too wanted to discover the purpose of my life. When I listed .. I found so many.. which have to be done and which not to be done. I finally found something new apart from my existing things.. Hopefully will achieve it soon.. (Don't ask me what exactly I found those as purpose of my life.. because every one has their own goals.. their own things to do, in their own way).

You too try to discover the things..and find out the purpose of your life. :)

When people criticize you, you should just listen to them. If there is something good in it, take it and if there is nothing good then just leave it, ignore it. They can comment, so what! You should not lose your equanimity. I tried so hard to ignore the people who comments me.. but finally I could manage to do so.. Lets try.. and feel the change..

Getting Attached to someone is also painful.. !!

As the pain was more I tried to be in quiet.. heavens.. and sat in silence.. As I was attached to my dears... I could not concentrate on the nature...I could not stand in silence... As I said being far away from loved ones is more painful than the physical pain.. I experienced this..

Attachments takes away peace of mind.. Then you are in pieces and fall prey to misery. Before I get scattered too much, I need to gather myself and rid my breath of the feverishness through surrender.... I do not notice this until it is too late..

Without fighting the attachments, observe the feverishness for that... and go to the cool place of silence within. We have to direct the attachment to the knowledge not to the people... That is what I observed ..

Feeling that everything is stagnant in my life, I realize that everything is changing, yet see there is something that is on-changing. I recognize the non-changing among the change are the wisest of all.

It is very painful when the person whom we are attached to chooses to leave us..stay far away from us.. How do you feel then?? I could say one thing here.. Whatever is yours will always be yours. Whatever is not yours will come for a little while and then go. Wake up! Sitting and crying being emotional is not going to help. Wake up and see this is the world and the world has its own metrics. See how you can move forward. That is what I can say .. :)

Then you will say .. wow! Life is much more than I thought it was..