You feel a lot of love for someone and they do not take it. What do you do?

1. Get frustrated 

2. Turn the love into hatred and wish for revenge 

3. Again and again remind them how much you love them and how little they love you 

4. Become fussy and cranky 

5. Throw tantrums 

6. Feel humiliated and try to protect your respect 

7. Resolve never to love again 

8. Feel hurt and mistreated 

9. Try to be aloof and indifferent ...

and you have seen that none of these work. They only make the situation worse. 

What is the way out of this? How do you maintain your lovingness? 

1. Have patience and change your expression of love. 

2. Be centered and limit your expression of love. Sometimes over-expression of love puts people off. 

3. Take it for granted that they love you too and accept their style of expression. For example, a mother with three kids. One child talks, one child does not talk, one child throws tantrums. Mother's love is the same irrespective of their behaviour. 

4. Genuinely acknowledge their love for you. This will turn your demand into gratefulness and the more you are grateful in life, the more love comes your way. 

5. Know that hurt is part of love and take responsibility for it. 
6.There may be circumstances that others love you back but are just not willing to commit... accept their reason.. it is a part of life

When you move away from your center, you will definitely get hurt and the nature of worldliness is misery.

Don't make a mistake by pointing out mistakes!

Do not tell a person a mistake he knows. What's the use of pointing out a mistake that he knows he has committed? By doing this, you will only make them feel more guilty, defensive or resentful and this will only create more distance. You should only point out the mistake of a person who does not know, but who wants to know. Do not point out the mistake of a person who knows but doesn't want you to know. Often people know the mistakes that they have committed, but they do not want you to tell them. Think of the usefulness of your comments.

Before pointing out the mistake of a person, see whether your comments in any way will help to improve the situation, foster love or bring harmony. A magnanimous person would not pick on the mistakes of others and make them feel guilty. However, they would correct them with compassion and care, not through words but through attitudes.

Authority and love

Mistakes keep happening all the time. Often you get irritated by them and want to correct them. How much can you correct? There are two situations when you correct others’ mistakes: 

1. You correct someone’s mistake because it bothers you. But even if you correct it, this does not work. 

2. You correct someone’s mistake, not because it bothers you, but for their sake so that they can grow. 

To correct mistakes you need authority and love. Authority and love seem to be contradictory, but in reality they are not. Authority without love is stifling and does not work. Love without authority is shallow. A friend needs to have both authority and love but they need to be in the right combination. This can happen if you are totally dispassionate and centred. When you allow room for mistakes, you can be both authoritative and sweet. That is how, the right balance of both. People, when they are in love, exercise authority with each other. Authority and love exist in all relationships. 

One guy says, "The husband just loves and the wife has authority." 

the other guy asks, "Is that a mistake?" 

But I said, "I don’t want to correct it!" 

With whom do you feel really comfortable and at ease?

If someone doubts your love and you constantly have to prove it, this becomes a heavy load on your head. When someone doubts your love, they start questioning you and demanding explanations for all your actions. To explain everything you do is a burden. But your nature is to shed the burden, and so you don't feel comfortable. When you question the reason behind an action, you are asking for justice for yourself. You are creating a distance when you ask for justice. Your whole intention is to come close, but you are creating a distance. You are a witness to all your actions. You are as much a stranger to your own actions as you are to someone else's. You are the Eternal Witness. When someone asks for an explanation, they are speaking from doership and imposing that doership on you. This brings discomfort. If somebody is just there with you, like a part of you, they don't question you. They are like your arm. There is thorough understanding and questions don't arise. Neither demand an explanation nor give an explanation.

Ego & Self

Ego is identification with a small role that you play, any limited identity. Ego is – ‘I am something, I am intelligent, I am stupid, I like this, I don’t like that, I am rich, I am poor, I am ugly or I am beautiful, I am teacher, I am doctor, I am something, I am, that is ego. The identity or label you put on yourself is ego.

When you understand all this then you feel, “Is this the thing?” Do I exist only in the limited boundaries of the roles that I play? No! After understanding ego also, there is something left, what is this? That is the self.

How to be happy always?

Forget about always, then you are happy. In wanting to be comfortable always, one becomes lazy. In wanting perfection always, one becomes angry. In wanting to be rich always, one becomes greedy When we do not realize that only life is for always, then fear comes. All ways do not lead you, only one way leads you. If you remove always from your dictionary then everything is alright Drop "always" and all will be right - that is intelligence.

Ego And Self From A Different Angle

Ego is that something, which has two aspects – the positive and the negative.

The creativity in you – are the results of ego. At the same time, when you break down communication, when you isolate yourself, when you’re in tears, when you’re stressed – that is also ego. We do not know about the ego, and so we don’t pay much attention to it. But just 2-3 facts, awareness of how ego works !

The self – the basis of life! You can call it the spirit, the soul, consciousness, the source of the mind – anything. It is that something, which doesn’t change in one’s whole life. After discovering about all these levels, what is left is the Self.