I thought I would share something with you..

These days I found some depression symptoms.After my symptoms getting worse and worse and the suicidal thoughts getting stronger and stronger, I decided to hospitalize myself as suggested by my doctor.

I was hospitalized couple of times, but this time when I enter into the department, I felt so embarrassed and weird. Being hospitalized was one of the scariest things I ever did, but looking back on it now, I believe it was really what I needed. I not only needed medication and a safe place, but I needed some intensive therapy, some ideas of ways to release some feelings, and I needed a chance to figure out what my next steps would be when I was released. My love supported me in all the ways he can.

I'm not saying it was easy..and I never want to do it again...but It's not an easy decision to make..

I feel There are two types of pain in this world.

Pain That Hurts You

Pain That Changes You

And Now the second one was applied for me.. Pain that changes me.. in all the ways And I have become little stronger enough to make things happen in a new direction.